A guy I knew a few years ago had a habit of trying every new diet and fitness product that came onto the market. He used to stay up late, smoking pot and eating either pizza or donuts. He’d see this stuff advertised on late night television when he was up watching re-runs of old detective shows. This whole process at times seemed comically efficient because often he’d wake up the next day and his guilt about the previous night’s bad behavior was quickly alleviated because he had bought some fitness stuff the night before.
He fell mostly for the fitness routines that were sold by famous male trainers he wanted to look like. These guys had awesome looking muscles and were often doing really cool looking combat aerobic movements or similar muscle building exercises. They sold boot camp and circuit training routines with cool sounding names that included manly buzz words like, “explosion”, “blast”, “madness” or “turbo”. Many were advertised to “Kick Your Ass!!!” Sometimes these fitness programs would have really scientific sounding names “T80X” making them sound like they were designed by NASA or the military. Like clockwork he would pull out his credit card and order the CD’s. He tried them all but was never able to put a dent in the 30 pounds of extra fat he was trying to lose.
I questioned him one day about the veracity of these routines. I asked him if there was perhaps a better way to get lean slim and healthy, permanently. He fired back with a long recitation of all the promises these fitness routines had made in their commercials. He listed the names of some of the buff trainers who were on television selling them and asked me “Dude, have you seen the shape that guy is in?” I couldn’t help but state the obvious. I asked him to consider the idea that these guys were just trying to make money by selling false hope. They were selling an illusion and that realistically, these routines didn’t really work. I reluctantly used him as the proof. I suggested that there were millions of similar guys around the country who had bought the programs, were still fat, and were also the proud owners of a yet another stack of dusty CD’s.
I was met with an angry response. “Oh yeah…we’ll this guy must know what he is talking about because he’s sold MILLIONS of these CD’s around the world…and he’s famous and he’s rich too!” This I could not argue with.
I did have one more question for him though. I asked him to tell me about the best hamburger he had ever had. He looked puzzled. I told him I had a point and to please stay with me. He thought about it for a moment and then told me it was from a famous little hamburger place that had been family owned for over 60 years. This little restaurant cooked burgers on an open grill using real hardwood charcoal. The owners bought small amounts of naturally raised beef and bacon from a local farm and they had a huge selection of fresh, local condiments. They had their own secret family recipes for both the seasoning and the barbeque sauces. This family was extremely proud of their traditions, high quality and their excellent reputation. I knew about this place; it was a family institution. These burgers were indeed special. They were made with pride and passion – delicious! People travelled for miles to eat at this place. “That would be the one” he said, “best burger I’ve ever had!” “What’s your point, Dude?”
I promptly told him that his answer was both wrong and quite impossible. I told him that without a doubt, the best hamburger he had ever eaten was from McDonalds. His only rational choice could be the small, crappy, high fat, and unhealthy, low grade, processed McDonald’s hamburger that wasn’t even made with real meat. This was, after all the greatest selling hamburger of all time!
I saw this guy about a year ago and he had put on an additional 20 pounds. Needless to say, we didn’t discuss popular fitness products. Nor did we talk about hamburgers.
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